TTC and Religion…????

Trying to conceive and religion. Yes, this is a touchy and taboo subject, but I’m going there. More specifically, gearing more towards miscarriages and infertility and trying to conceive. This post is coming from my heart- what’s been on my mind lately.

I  very recently came across a blog post with a pregnancy announcement which is awesome news. I want to make it clear that although these announcements tug at my heart and sometimes make me shed a tear or two, I’m genuinely happy for the couple. However, this announcement made me slightly cringe for the following reasons. She was bitching about not conceiving although only trying for a mere 4-5 months. Yes, weeks and months drag when you’re TTC, but come on now. I know blogs are a place for people to express their thoughts and opinions…but some people  may give the side eye when hearing others complain about bringing a second/third child into the world is taking too long on their specific timeline.

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What irked me the most was the comment “God is Good!!!!” and “Everything happens in God’s time!” when conveying the announcement. Alright lady. So God is good to you…but what about me? Or the thousands of other women who have experienced a loss or infertility or just simply trying to drop a damn egg and ovulate on their own?

Is it because God doesn’t feel like the time is right? Or because he doesn’t think they’d be good parents? Or because they aren’t suited for each other?

I’m sorry, but I think it’s downright rude. Would God like you to be rude and condescending? I don’t think so.

It’s simply a matter of freaking science, although many may disagree. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t be spending so much time with doctor’s appointments and monitoring my hormone levels while my husband is thousands of miles away (in a warzone), so we can approach things the best way possible when he gets home as I’ll be hitting nearly 30.

I didn’t grow up extremely religious. I’m Catholic. I went to CCD every Wednesday; was baptized,  made my communion, and confirmation. However, we typically only went to Church a few Sundays out of the year and on holidays (occasionally). After my parent’s divorced when I was 12, I went to church with my best friend when I’d spend the night with her on Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings.

I’m by no means discounting religion. I’d like to believe in a higher power, but that’s it. God didn’t make me meet my husband- I was simply at the right place at the right time. God didn’t pull my head out of my ass and help me graduate college- I did. I simply feel that it’s not fair to solely base God’s timing on conception. Yes, I believe things (sometimes) happen for a reason. What about those who simply cannot conceive on their own? That either need scientific intervention or resort to adoption? Both of these circumstances can result in absolutely beautiful outcomes…

This is a short post, but it’s something I had to express. I don’t like clinging onto bad moods and sometimes writing about it makes me feel better…

Do you think it’s all in God’s hands whether or not someone will conceive or not?

 

 

 

A Quick Update- February 2015

While it may be that I write these updates more for myself than anything else, it’s been nice (well, not sure I’d use the word nice…perhaps helpful?….to look back and see what was going on with my cycles, testing, and how I was feeling at the time. I have a few things to share since the last update, so here we go:

  • I had a cycle that lasted from October 9-November 9 which was pretty decent for me (31 days). The next cycle was from November 9- December 26…uhh WTF. I stopped counted after CD 35. My labs showed that I did not ovulate this month, but I could have had a late ovulation since the cycle was so long. I haven’t had a period since December 26…I don’t know what cycle day I’m on, but it doesn’t even matter since it’s been so long. I didn’t have my progesterone checked this cycle because I was out of town and the office was closed on the weekend when I should’ve been tested.
  • I had a doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago and we discussed a few things. First, my cycle day 3 labs, where they check the LH, FSH, and estradiol, came back normal! This is good news as my ovaries ARE working, but there is a disconnect between the first phase of my cycle and the last phase. She wanted to do some lab work to double check for PCOS. I didn’t have any symptoms of it besides my long/erratic cycles, but it didn’t hurt to see. She emailed me the other day and told me everything came back normal…no PCOS.
  • We contemplated with the idea of getting a laparoscopy done to see if I have any endometriosis. However, because you’re put under for this and it can be rather uncomfortable, we decided to hold off. The doctor honestly didn’t think this was the case for me. I’d want Tyler to be there with me for this anyways.
  • I’ve gained about 10-12 pounds since July of last year (when TJ left). We thought that this would help regulate my cycle…but so far, it hasn’t. To be honest, this wasn’t always that easy for me. When I’m stressed…I have no appetite. However, incorporating more healthy fats, more carbs (I effing love these asiago cheese bagels by Einsten Bros. from Target, haha), and laying off the cardio is what helped the most. It’s discouraging that this hasn’t helped regulate things so far, but that’s okay. Looking back at some pictures, I did need to gain a few pounds. I started running again, but only a few days a week and it’s more like running/walking intervals while watching House Hunters ;)
  • My current doctor is deploying in April….pretty much around the time Tyler gets home, so I’ll be seen by my old doctor (the one I had some issues with). I don’t want to go through the hassle of finding someone else, and she knows us and our situation.
  • Finally, both docs agreed that our best chances to conceive will be via medicated cycles. We are going to try Clomid first, but ONLY two more rounds of this. If we have no luck with that, then we will be referred out and they suggested medication, the HCG trigger shot, and IUI. You can forgo the IUI and just do a medicated cycle with the trigger shot and timed intercourse, but the success rate is higher when you go the IUI route instead. It’s a few hundred bucks more (a grand total of about $1,000 PER cycle…yikes!), but they said it’s better this way as you get more bang for your buck (swear she said that, haha). We aren’t going to sit and dick around :) However, TJ will be up to be promoted to Captain in November and then it’s on to Fort Huachuca, Arizona. So we shall see how the rest of the year pans out.

Alright, I’m gonna go do some errands on my day off! Super stoked that it’s February, but I hope the next couple of months fly by. I’m SO ready to see my husband again :)

 

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Figured I needed a picture in this post ;)

* What are your thoughts on Clomid?

*Have you or anyone you know used the trigger shot with timed intercourse or IUI?

Trying to Conceive in the Military Community

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything about fertility as my husband is in the midst of a nine month deployment and trying to conceive is obviously on hiatus. However, TTC and being a part of the military community is something that I struggle with. This issue may come off as if I’m complaining (which I kind of am!) or ungrateful (I’m totally NOT!)…take it as you please- this post is more for me getting it off my chest and venting :)

FYI- my last cycle started on November 8…it’s been a rough couple of months. My progesterone levels were lower than 1, and this past cycle obviously abnormally long (started my current one on December 26th. I swear the only thing I wished for for Christmas was Tyler staying safe and getting a god damn period, haha). I’ve done everything within my control to gain normal cycles-…I honestly don’t think the wine and cocktails I consumed affected my reproductive system THAT much… There seems to be a connection with my abnormally long cycles and extremely low progesterone levels…. Anyways, we shall see how the next few months ago. I have an appointment with my OBGYN later this month.

When Tyler and I started dating, there was absolutely no mention of him going back in the army as an officer. He was in his last year of undergrad (after serving 6 years in the military, going through two 12 month tours in Iraq, and getting out as a Staff Sergeant at the age of 24- pretty badass)… and had mentioned going to grad school. However, there was an obvious change of plans seeing that he is now a 1st Lieutenant, haha. We got married when I was 26 and he was 29…in a couple of weeks I turn 29 and he will be 32 in March.

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Point blank- we are old for not having any children in the military community. TJ has always had the mentality of not comparing himself to anyone else as he seriously doesn’t give a shit, but it’s something that is sometimes difficult for me.

SO many enlisted soldiers marry early and they conceive (thank God TJ and his ex wife didn’t)… and continue doing so. The wives often times blame the military on not being able to get a job or further their education which is ridiculous (MYCAA- will help you get at least an associates degree if you meet the requirements).

After our miscarriage in September of 2013, I became so much more aware of pregnancy things. Not just more knowledgeable about the topics of miscarriage and fertility, but more emotionally aware.

A week after my D&C, I went to a Hail and Farewell (basically a gathering at a location or restaurant to honor those who are leaving the unit and welcoming those coming in) with Tyler. I didn’t want to go, but I did… and it was hard. I found out that a fellow army wife was expecting… and her and another wife (who was due a week before I was due… and kept rubbing her freaking belly) spent pretty much the whole evening talking about pregnancy issues. I remained on the opposite end of the table, holding my husband’s hand, and sipping on a beer.

These are normal things to talk about, but seeing as they knew we had just endured a loss 1/3 of the way through a pregnancy, it made me give them the side-eye. Bottom line- it hurt my fucking feelings, and I cried the whole way home. And, I avoided most army-related events from there on out which may be immature or weak on my end as I truly want to be there for my husband, but it was something I felt like I had to do to continue moving forward.

Going to the doctor is a whole other issue. Here, at Fort Bliss, if you’re under Tricare Prime, you can either go to the hospital, William Beaumont, or be seen at the clinic (it’s a new, nice facility) on East Bliss. Tyler works on East Bliss and it’s closer to our house, so that’s where I’m typically seen (however, my new obgyn is at the hospital). Some days are better than others when I go for lab work or appointments, but sometimes it completely sucks donkey seeing young ass girls with children. Usually it’s a baby with a toddler that they can’t control and they seem to be like 22.

My doctors have even made comments about young girls complaining that they haven’t gotten pregnant within the first few months of trying… I’ll never forget the tone my old OBGYN had when I initially went in for infertility (and happened to be pregnant at the time!)…she thought I was much younger than I was, then changed her demeanor when she saw my birth date, haha :)

Military families are supposed to come together. Tyler deployed outside of his unit; therefore, I have had absolutely no support from a FRG. I don’t know if it is normal or not, but it has put a bad taste in my mouth about the “support group” we are supposed to have. I know a handful of spouses who have experienced a deployment since moving here, and they have posted a shit ton of get togethers, events, etc. with their FRG…and have seemed to have made lifelong friends. If I ever become in charge of the FRG at TJ’s future units, I’ll ensure that everyone is included… and checked in on ;) But this is beside the point.

I feel as if I should create a club for army wives to come together with spouses that are deployed (there is one for spouses TTC, but not for deployed spouses).

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I think many people don’t know how to talk to those that are having trouble. I understand- before our situation, I would have no idea what to do or say! From what I have gathered through blogging and being open about our situation with family and friends- saying nothing implies that it’s not a big deal or that you don’t care. But it IS a big deal.

Also, don’t be afraid to talk about your pregnancy/baby. If you push me under the rug about a pregnancy….I’m sorry, but I’ll push you under the rug about the birth. Don’t hide news about a pregnancy! It may tug at my heart a bit and I will probably be slightly jealous, but I’m truly happy for you- and I’ll want to know details and hold the babes once it makes an appearance :)

I was not the “best of friends” with some people in my earlier years, but I have discussed infertility issues with them for the past couple of years and have watched them birth amazing babies… It really opens your eyes as to who your true friends are… but I’ll get to that in another post.

Not only have these few women brought new light into my world, they taught me to be my own advocate. I don’t think I’m getting the best healthcare right now….my husband may oppose this notion because “it’s free”. I understand that throwing women on Clomid may work for many, but it’s also dangerous as it can cause ovarian cysts, thinning of the uterine lining, and ovarian cancer.  My mom was on Clomid as her and my dad experienced secondary infertility after I was born (my brother and I are 5 years apart)… and she was even monitored back then! That’s why I get upset about our healthcare… but we’ll deal with it until we conceive or have to move onto Plan B.

To wrap things up, it will be interesting to see what happens. The thing I’m looking forward to the most this year is being reunited with my husband…my world will not be okay until I come face to face again and feel him in my arms… :)

Cheers to 2015!

* If you’re a part of a military community, have you ever experienced any sort of issues?

*What are you looking forward to the most this year?

2014 in review

My blog was pretty much placed on the back burner over the past several months. I go through periods where I want to write about so much, and other times, I feel as though I have nothing to give or say at all. However, it’s pretty cool to see the breakdown of things throughout the year.

It seems as though my “most popular” posts are when I’m venting about random shit or discussing our fertility issues. Take a look at the breakdown of it all- it’s cool!

Also…I’d love feedback on what YOU like to hear about most. My (naive) thoughts on everyday life, (in)fertility issues, crafts, military related things, fitness and nutrition (which I barely discuss anyways). PLEASE let me know via comment, email (kannsingleton@gmail.com), or leave a Facebook message!

Cheers to 2015….I can’t tell you how happy I am to ring in the New Year with my love…even if we’re alone and on opposite ends of the world.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Gift Giving Guide 2014

Alright, so as odd as it may sound, Tyler and I didn’t buy each other anything last Christmas, and we are following the same pattern this year with him being deployed. I honestly foresee this tradition continuing…and here’s why:

  • If we want something for ourselves throughout the year within reason, we buy it. Tyler is not a sit around with your thumb up your butt and wait kinda person…unless it’s something expensive.
  • We buy each other things throughout the year.
  • Flying back to Chicago last year was almost $900, but we were home for 10 days. Plane tickets aren’t cheap anymore, but we know that we won’t be going home for holidays often, especially if/when we have children.

However, though we aren’t celebrating together this year, TJ has given me many awesome gifts throughout the year. I thought I’d share these as it may help some who have no effing idea what to get their significant other or a family member. I’ll warn you- some are affordable while others are expensive…this is all depending on your household income though. Some people may think everything is freaking cheap! ;)

1.) I Hate Steven Singer Rose-  Tyler initially purchased a rose for his mom a couple of years ago for Mother’s Day. I absolutely loved it, but never mentioned it after ;/ This past Valentine’s Day I was surprised with a platinum dipped red rose…and it’s absolutely beautiful! I wasn’t sure how to display it, but I think what I did is suitable :) I have mine sitting on my desk. Also, the roses by Steven Singer are exclusive Valentine’s Day through Mother’s Day, so you can’t get them any other time of year unfortunately.

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I tried using various colored glass rocks with the rose, but green looked the best!

 

2.) A good coffee mug- I love a good coffee mug, but what makes an awesome cup is a big ass handle. I’m not going to squeeze my effing fingers to take a drink of tea or coffee unless I’m at a restaurant or at someone’s house. I got a super cute coffee mug from Tyler and one from my sister this year:

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From TJ- he ordered it through Amazon! LOVE it!

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From my sister. I drink coffee, tea, and even eat cereal in this bad boy!

 

3.) Garmin Forerunner 10- This watch is awesome. Tracks your distance, pace, and calories and is SO easy to use! I’m not technically savvy, so this was awesome for me.

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I wish it came in black and pink!

 

4.) Sirius XM radio- I’m a HUGE Howard Stern fan. Some people may think he’s a bit..umm..crude…but I don’t give a fugg. He’d older than my dad which makes it weird sometimes, but he gives the best god damn interviews I’ve ever heard. This was probably one of the best gift’s Tyler has given me, especially because I’ve heard that the radio stations suck down here and it’s all Mexican music. No offense, but I’m from Indiana, and I don’t want to hear that. I hear it enough from my neighbors fiestas every God damn month which keep me up until 3am. If your loved one commutes more than 15 minutes each way, this is a gift they’d truly appreciate!

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This man has made my commutes so much more pleasurable!

 

5.) Treadmill- This was an anniversary gift from Tyler. COMPLETE surprise! He always said no effing way when I teased about it (he bought his ex wife one, so I was like…WTF?), blah blah blah. I’m not, and have never been, a huge hardcore runner. I’d roll my ass out of bed when he was going to PT and make trips to Planet Fitness which is a mere 2 minutes away. But my prince outdid me this past year when he had be open a card and look on the back and see that he ordered a treadmill and that it was on it’s way…Tears were shed, of course.

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Hopefully this fits in our spare bedroom at our next home. Although it’s an eyesore, no one really ever comes over, so it’s not a big deal. Plus, I push it together so it doesn’t take up much room!

I have another list of things that I’ve bought over the past few months that I love that I’ll share soon!

  • What’s on your Christmas list?
  • How you do and your spouse celebrate Christmas?

 

I Have Nothing but a Survey…

I’m trying to get back into blogging…but honestly, I have no motivation. I was given this survey by a fellow blogger, and I’m relaxing with my boys tonight while watching Elf, so figured I’d give it a go.

 

The Four Survey

 

Four names that people call me other than my real name:

  1. Kimmy
  2. Kimby (Tyler’s name to me when I’m being a huge biach illogical/irrational or not agreeing with him)
  3. Boo (Tyler’s endearing name to me)
  4. Big Saf back in the day? haha. My mom calls me Kimbers, and my dad calls me Kimberly.

 

Four jobs I’ve had:

  1. babysitter
  2. sales associate/manager at a tanning salon (for like 5 years…but moved to AZ and back for 6 months in between).
  3. stay at home wife/student…I was taking 6 classes so I wasn’t really a stay at home anything, I just wasn’t bringing in a paycheck :( Can I do this forever?
  4. Assistant manager at a global retailer

 

Four movies I’ve watched more than once:

  1. Forrest Gump
  2. Titanic
  3. Big
  4. Stepbrothers

 

Four books I’d recommend:

  1. Something Borrowed (and Something Blue) by Emily Giffin…Do NOT read her latest book, The One and Only. Sucks…and I’ve read everything by her.
  2. Me Before You by JoJo Moyes….SO GOOD
  3. The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty…What Alice Forgot and The Hypnotist’s Love Story are also good. Currently reading Big Little Lies.
  4. The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller. My grandma gave me this book to read in middle school. She was also a fan of Nicholas Sparks (middle finger to all you haters…sometimes it’s MORE than just a cheesy love story). She’d buy his books and read them then give them to me to read and we’d talk about them afterwards….hence, my soft spot for these novels…and I’ll continue to buy them. Unfortunately, some hardbacks got ruined when her basement was flooded, but I’m trying to buy them back despite being paperback (no, I don’t want these in my kindle…to personal!).

 

Four places I’ve lived

  1. Merrillville, IN
  2. Valparaiso, IN
  3. Gilbert, AZ
  4. El Paso, TX

 

Four places I’ve visited:

  1. Numerous places on the Gulf Coast of Florida…Indian Shores being my favorite!
  2. The Bahamas
  3. Las Vegas
  4. Oklahoma City…I obviously need to travel more…TYLER… ;)

 

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Carefully holding my drank!

 

Four places I’d rather be right now:   I’d obviously rather be with my husband (or family) anywhere, but that ain’t happening, so I’m writing where I’d like to go someday.

  1. The Mediterranean (Spain, Greece, Italy, France, Croatia, wherever!). Anywhere that is lined with the ocean in Europe. Sorry, I know there’s a shit ton of history there, but I want beautiful, tranquil scenery.
  2. San Fransisco and Yosemite Park
  3. New York City- I’m not a city girl by any means, but I think it’d be fun to go here for a long weekend and compare it to Chicago
  4. Some resort with white sandy beaches and crystal clear water

 

Four things I prefer not to eat:

  1. Salmon
  2. Sauerkraut
  3. Pretty much anything fried
  4. Not a fan of hot sauce…so anything with that.

 

Four of my favorite foods:

  1. Italian (pizza, pasta)
  2. Avocado
  3. Greek yogurt
  4. Honey crisp apples

 

Four TV shows I watch:

  1. House Hunters
  2. The Real Housewives of Orange County
  3. Started Orange is the New Black before TJ left…but haven’t brought myself to finish the season. Though we watched and own the entire series, I’ve been watching Breaking Bad randomly again.
  4. Old 90’s shows (Full House, Home Improvement, Growing Pains, The Wonder Years, Step by Step, Boy Meets World, etc.) I’m lame.

 

Four things I’m looking forward to this year:    (doing 2015)

  1. TYLER COMING HOME
  2. TYLER COMING HOME
  3. TYLER COMING HOME
  4. A long weekend home in January

 

Four things I’m always saying:

  1. I love you/I miss you
  2. Wrigley!!!! Come!
  3. Stiffler!!! Stiffler!!! Stiffler!! Stiffler! Stifffffllllerrrr!!!!! Come. (he is either confused that I’m his REAL mom or he doesnt give a fug, haha).
  4.  Oh my god/No way

 

Four people I tag to answer these questions:

  1. Lauren from Laurealism
  2. Elizabeth from Elizabeth Loves
  3. Dani from Love Comma Mom
  4. Dawn from Our Greatest Desire

Simple Ways to Save Money

I’m by no means a financial expert. In fact, I didn’t even open up my first credit card until I was 24 because I lived with the mindset “never buy more than you can afford”. I still believe this to a certain extent, but you also have to have credit. Unless you’re making bank each month, you may need to charge some things once in a while. Anyways, here are a few things that I currently do to save …or not spend unnecessary money.

Nix getting your nails done. I go through phases with painting my nails because because sometimes I become lazy and don’t care (this happens often). I’ve gotten regular manicures done and the no-chip (or shellac, whatever you call it), but I’ve come to think that it’s a waste of money. Regular mani’s are for sure a waste- my nails would chip within 2 days and that’s like 15 bucks down the drain. I think the no-chip is only good for vacations or big events, so I will indulge when either or those roll around. My secret to doing nails at home that will last is simple- I LOVE Wet n Wild Megalast Nail Color- I have every shade and love them except for one ugly nude color (don’t buy it). I always do two coats and top it with a clear top coat. The color lasts for days and typically only chips at the ends. If this happens, I just touch them up and I’m good to go for another few days!

WP_20140211_017The other nail polish I love is Sinful Gel Tech nail color- it works great! Both brands are under $3 per bottle. Essentially, I could buy 5 bottles of nail polish for one crappy manicure that will last me a few days! Same routine- 2 coats of polish and top coat. Oh, and buy a cuticle cutter (not sure if that’s what it’s called but that’s my name for it).

I give myself pedicures as well, but will indulge in getting it done once or twice a year. I know many women go to the nail salon to relax and treat themselves, but I can’t fathom spending that much money a month on something so simple. I DO, however, get my hair cut and touched up professionally ever 8 weeks or so. My mom was a beautician so I’m anal about keeping my hair healthy.

*** I wrote this post before Tyler left, and I must note that I’m going to indulge in pedis every now and then throughout the duration of his deployment. This will not only give me something small to look forward to, but I wear sandals at work at my feet get super dried out. Plus, we are bringing in more due to the deployment and my income (however, paying off all bills is our priority, so I’m not gonna go buck effing wild).

Meal plan and eat leftovers. Every Saturday or Sunday I come up with a tentative meal plan for the upcoming week. I consider the following things: what we already have on hand, what we have a taste for, what we have not had in a while, and what our schedule looks like Monday-Friday. I typically make a big meal on Sundays (or Mondays if we have off)- that way we have leftovers for the following day (and possibly the day after) AND I can freeze a small portion to have on hand for later use. Big meals include things such as chilis, soups, pastas, or pretty much any sort of crock pot or casserole dish.

DO NOT THROW AWAY YOUR LEFTOVERS. If you don’t think you’re going to eat it in a timely manner- freeze it. I was a huge brat growing up and wouldn’t eat leftovers (if I knew they were leftovers, I’d pitch a fit). There are still certain things I don’t like left over, such as fish, so I only make enough for one meal for TJ and me.

Don’t be embarrassed to hit the clearance (or sales) rack first. I’ve done this for years. Why even bother looking at shit that’s full price if you can get something you like for cheaper? I understand that sometimes the clearance rack is a mess and everything is fugly. It’s honestly hit or miss. Take 5 minutes and scan through before you hit the normal priced racks though- you never know what you might find! Here are a few things I have recently found on the clearance rack:

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Marshall’s- regular $50 on clearance for $15

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The Limited- Regular $100, on clearance for $20

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Target- Regular $30, on clearance for $10

I know these pictures don’t do justice, so I’ll take photos once I actually wear them within the next few weeks. All in all, don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to browse through clearance/sale items.

Don’t do 20 small loads of laundry per week. Okay, I actually have no how much money this actually saves; for all I know we could be saving a honkin’ 3 bucks per month. However, since it’s just Tyler and I in the house, I do about 3 loads of laundry a week. Obviously if you have kids you’re going to be doing more. He tends to have more than I do, simply because of his PT clothes five days a week (which I don’t mind at all!). Tyler used to think his towel to dry off with after a shower was dirty like every time. This makes no sense- you are CLEAN..so why is your towel dirty? Use that bitch a few days in a row.

 

What are some ways you try to save money?

Do you tend to shop at more high end stores or do labels not necessarily matter?

Tell me your best money-saving technique!