Quick Fertility Update- September 2014

This one’s gonna be short as there isn’t a whole lot to discuss. However, I do have slightly good news :) As noted in my last fertility post, I’m going to get my progesterone levels monitored each cycle even though TJ is gone. We want to see if there’s a pattern or whatever without any medication….so it’s solely up to my body :)

Anyways, I got a call from my current doc early in the morning before work. I knew the number on my phone (PRIVATE)….and took a deep breath to prepare myself for the results.

My progesterone was at 6.8 on cycle day 21. I am NOT using at-home ovulation test strips while TJ is gone; however, in the past, I have and I’d usually receive a positive opk around cd17-19…then you add 7 days and go in and get your blood drawn then. I was happy with this score because it’s the highest it’s been without meds! All of my progesterone results were below 2 (I believe I had one at 3.2) the past 9 months.

My current doc said it may have been a combo of gaining a few extra pounds and stress relief. I gained some weight, but how the fuck am I under less stress now to make such a change seeing that my husband is in a war zone across the world? However, aside from the constant worry and unexpected stressors (our computer took a crap on me and I can’t get our weed wacker or lawn mower to start), I’m actually feeling less stressed overall. While I was in school, I was constantly doing work to get ahead and ensure I got A’s on literally everything- I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a complete idiot after many semesters of not doing so hot back in the day, haha. This definitely paid off, but looking back I was in constant fear that I would fail again. After I graduated, I was freaking out that I wouldn’t find a decent job, and that I’d get stuck working somewhere that I hated making minimum wage. Obviously I have slight anxiety issues.

Those were things that I felt like I had control over- so I stressed. My husband is constantly in the back of my mind, but this is a situation that I simply cannot control. I don’t even know what the hell he is doing over there! Of course, I have my absolute shitty moments and cry my eyes out, but there is honestly nothing I can about it but remind him how much I love him and that things okay around here.

Anyways, cheers to some higher progesterone. Although we don’t know the direct cause, and it could have been a fluke (as our pregnancy was said to be), I’m eager to see what the next few months hold. The ultimate feat will be to see if I have a “normal” cycle- meaning less than 35 days long.

 

 

I will write a post about thing I’ve done differently in the past few months. I’ve gained a few pounds and stopped running long distances and doing high intensity interval training (I still do bursts of sprints, but it’s not balls to the wall every other minute like it used to be) which was recommended by my general doctor and obgyn (along with several nurse friends). This is somewhat of a touchy subject seeing that every one is so incredibly different when it comes to this shit. Some women can run fricking marathons and get pregnant.

If you’re running excessively and not conceiving, I’d really examine your training as it can deplete hormone levels (which should be monitored if you don’t pregnant after several months of actively TTC). This simply blood test every month (or sometimes multiple times a month) can tell you so much. If you’re hormone levels are fine, then obviously there is another underlying issue. There is a TON of information out there that links working out and conception… so if you don’t believe me, Google it ;) In addition, hormone levels should be monitored when using any type of fertility medication. Ideally, vaginal ultrasounds should truly be utilized as well because meds can create issues, such as over-stimulation of the ovaries. Why put yourself at risk? I’d never take medication and not be monitored in some manner, but that’s just me ;)

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Parks are much different in El Paso ;)

 

Anyways, stay tuned for a post about that, as well as the emotional aspects that go along with it. I still plan on gaining about 10 more pounds by the time Tyler gets home (I’m sure well before then since it’s quite a ways away…wahh). Also, I’m happy to report that I started a natural menstrual cycle on cycle day 32! Not everyone has perfect 28 day cycles… and I’ll take anything around day 30. Now let’s see if it can stay consistent over the next several months :)

 Have you ever had to change parts of your lifestyle when trying to prepare or trying to conceive?

Have you ever been told to gain/lose weight and increase or decrease your activity level when trying to get your body on track for a baby?

Things NOT to Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier

Alright, so I’ve read a few of these articles since becoming an army wife, and now that TJ is deployed I’ve decided to make my own list. I’ve had numerous comments said to me throughout his absence due to field training exercises, but I didn’t think it was right to discuss this until now. Before I begin, remember that I’m sarcastic and not out to be a huge biach. I know that our civilian counterparts simply cannot comprehend long times apart, and it’s difficult to know what to say. What annoys me may be loved by someone else- so don’t get discouraged! Here we go:

1.) When does he get out? This comment has been made SO many times, and yes, this one irritates the shit out of me. Tyler gets out when he RETIRES- he’s eligible in 11 or so years- FULL retirement at age 42- plus all medical treatment paid throughout his life (mama’s gonna probably have to work until she’s 85…wah!). His prior service played a huge role in his decision to go back in as an officer as it counted towards his retirement and puts him in a slightly higher pay bracket (we are no Donald Trumps, but it IS a benefit for him). Yes, many men and women only put in a certain amount of time and then get out and move on, but some actually make it their career. And you know what? That’s not only admirable, but sexy as hell. Are you like me and can’t retire until your old as balls? That’s what I thought….

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July 2012…his rank changed, but my big bear looks the same!

 

2.) At least you don’t have kids- This has only been said a few times so far, and I wasn’t really upset because they didn’t know us and our situation. If you’ve been an avid reader, it’s no secret that we want children and are more than ready. I was even congratulated that I’ll have made it to 30 without kids by a fellow co-worker (I’ll be 29.5 when TJ gets home). Mom and Dad, apparently, this deserves a huge effing trophy… or a visit ;)

3.) You can always go home- UMMM, no. Why? Because I have a full-time job now, two dogs, and an entire house to take care of. My personal and vacation days will be saved for when my Titan gets home. So unless I win the lottery which I never play, this shit  isn’t happening. Although I plan on flying home for a long weekend or two over the next several months! Come visit me!!!

4.) Are you scared? Are you shitting me with this question? I cried multiple times a day during the first couple of weeks Tyler was gone (never in front of people- always before or after work!), but I try not to think about it…so please don’t ever ask this dumbass question. My wishes when I find a penny or drop an eyelash are not about a baby anymore- they’re about Tyler coming home safe (and the same person…yes, I’ve read too much on how people can change) to me…I hate wishing days away, but night time is the most peaceful to me as it is another day done.

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A visit while he was at OCS. September 2011.

5.) Has he shot/killed anyone?- Unfortunately, I’ve been asked this many times. I don’t know, and it’s offending that someone would ask this. There are things I want to know about my husband and things I don’t- this is one of them. However, he conquered TWO 12 month tours in Iraq during the midst of the War on Terrorism…

Tyler was a part of the 173rd Airborne Brigade that jumped into Iraq  March of 2003. Please Google this!

He lost his best friend and many others close to him throughout his deployments. Still want to ask me this question?

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Preparing to jump…(random pic). However, Tyler actually jumped into a war zone… not just practiced. HUGE difference to those that love to jump onto free soil and those that have not.

173rd Paratrooper

This is how much gear Tyler and the other men dropped with. Have you had a bad day at work?

6.) Just keep yourself busy- I know mofos…I do, but it doesn’t mean I don’t look at his side of the bed and burst into tears. Or think of him when I’m our closet changing and see his section of clothes. Or see his car, knowing he’s not there when I pull inside the garage. Work has been amazing at keeping my days going, but have a harder time starting my day when I work a 1-10 shift. Nonetheless, once I get there and get in the groove, I’m good. Outside of work- the dogs, crafts, movies, and walking/jogging on my treadmill and doing weights keeps me entertained enough.

7.) You knew what you were getting into- This phrase wasn’t said directly to me…it was more like, “Well if you knew that he’d be leaving eventually, didn’t you kinda invite yourself into that life?” When I met Tyler, he had mentioned going to grad school after graduating with his Bachelors. I never thought about us being long term for the first few months.. He was a hot piece of meat, and I was getting out of an extremely long relationship- he was so incredibly different than all I knew (and I’m guessing I was the same for him)… and yet, the relationship worked and grew. He didn’t spring going back into the army on me until I knew I wanted him around for a while…bastard. Just kidding! So no, I didn’t know what I was getting into. But you know what? I wouldn’t change a fucking thing, no matter how sad, scared, or lonely I am sometimes.

8.) My husband travels…- Listen- If your husband travels to California or even London for business, THIS IS NOT THE SAME. I know some airlines are sketchy, but your hubby is relatively SAFE. He can eat whatever he wants, call/skype you whenever he wants, shop whenever he wants, watch TV whenever he wants, and rub one out whenever he wants- AND he’s home within a few WEEKS. Oh, and he probably doesn’t have to worry about rockets being launched at him or whatever. Never, EVER compare the two. *Sidenote- if you freak out after your significant other is away for a few days, please re-examine yourself. I honestly about shit my pants when I see Facebook statuses about missing their loves after a few days. Put on your big girl panties, eat and watch whatever you damn well please, pour a drink, and be effing grateful you have a man who is out making you guys money. NEVER compare the two.

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Tyler’s an Officer! I was freezing my nads off and it took me forever to pin this :)

9.) Let me know if you need anything- I’m here for you!- I know this is a well-intended remark, but quite frankly, actions speak louder than words. Don’t tell me- SHOW me. It’s like with any trying times in life. Unless your close as hell to me (mom, aunt, sister, best friend), I’m not gonna call or text you about “needing” anything.

I’m by NO means not expecting anything from anyone, and I can hold down the fort unless it comes to starting the God damn lawn mower or fixing the computer. However, I think it’s downright insulting to say such a thing, but never act upon it.

Point blank- relationships and friendships will transpire during a deployment (on both ends- spouse and soldier). Texting and calling are different things. Saying you’re there and actually being there are two entirely different entities. On the other hand, random texts have brightened up my day. I may seem like Iron Man sometimes, but I’m emotionally driven.

Right after I accepted his proposal. P.S. He even looked my dad’s phone number up and called him to ask him if it was alright if he asked me to marry him. I LOVED this!

10.) I could never do it- What in the fucking world does this mean? I’m assuming it’s supposed to be a compliment, but it’s not. What would you do then? Divorce your husband? Quit going into work and lay in bed all day? Move back home with your parents? I don’t understand this comment.

You do it because you HAVE to. Because you’re better than being a little bitch and crying every day about it. Where does that get you? (nowhere- I know as I cried frequently throughout the day when Tyler left- and I’ll allow myself them when need be ).

Because your husband is doing a job that most men or women CANNOT or WOULD NOT handle.

And bottom line- because you found a love that was so amazing, so incredibly invigorating, that it took you above where you’ve ever been before.

When you love someone deeply enough, you CAN wait for them. You will regain energy from happy memories flooding your mind and erratic emails and phone calls

And… you know that the day that you see them again will be absolutely fucking glorious.

 

Dear 18 Year-Old Self

I read a “10 Things I Would Tell My 18 Year-Old Self if I Could” on my friend’s blog, Laurealism and loved the idea so I created one myself. While I don’t regret too much in my life as it led me to where I am today, it’s kind of amusing to look back on things I wish I would’ve known back then.

10 Things I Would Tell My 18 Year-Old Self if I Could…

1. Pay more attention in math. I know we hate it, but suck it up and stop drawing cartoon characters in your notebook with your friend instead of the quadratic formula (which I FINALLY memorized and still know b y heart today, thank you very much!). It will give you more confidence and ease your anxiety when taking it in college.

I’ve memorized this formula because of a teacher, haha. I don’t even know what the end product is supposed to give you though!

2. Research colleges. Research majors. Research any potential career that you feel interested in. Do not pick a school based on exterior circumstances, such as family and friends. I don’t want to degrade my parents here, but neither of them cared what I was doing with my life at this point. I probably could have said I was moving to Idaho to tame a bee farm and they would’ve said okee-dokee. They were pre-occupied with their lives…or something.

At any rate, I chose to go to IUPUI with my best friends at the time. This tends to be a commuter campus in Indianapolis for those that are unfamiliar with it. Well, this situation lasted a whole 3 months. A handful of factors played into this- one random day I was supposed to go to class but instead packed up my essentials and drove home and crying most of the way (out of failure and relief). Also, take classes that you actually need. I didn’t even have an advisor at IUPUI, so I took a fucking walking and meditation class. Who does this?! If you’re a parent, be actively involved no matter if your child goes to a university, technical school, or whatever. Don’t let them do dumb shit please.

Visit campuses WITH your parents if you want to go to college!

3. Don’t buy a rabbit. My best friend knows why. You will name it Fwankenstein (from the movie Big Daddy), and it will bite you all the time. She will end up caring for it… Also, do not “borrow” her parking pass or she will go fucking ape shit.

P.S. Your nose ring will become infected…don’t feel bad about taking it out within a week despite peer pressure.

4. You HAVE to go to class to do well. Most of the time, attending class is a must to succeed, and teachers will like you (and obviously know you) better if you show up.

5. Life won’t always suck. It may be years, but it WILL get better. Keep swimming…AND you will marry into a drama-free, absolutely amazing family.

These people are awesome.

6.) Family relationships will be turbulent for the next handful of years. You will not be taken seriously about the circumstances until it has hit rock bottom….but you’ll be okay, taken care of, and come out better than you would have had shit not flown.

Kathleen’s 8th grade graduation…one of the last family photos I can find. Who in the Sam are we looking at besides Kath?!

7.) You’ll become closer than ever to your uncle and aunt….they will be your home for a few years. Your sister will live with you again, and although she will drive you nuts by stealing your clothes, rolling them into balls and shoving them under her bed or in her closet, it will bring you closer together. These will become the memories that help you fall asleep at night.

Without them, I’d be nothing…

8.)  Your relationship with your parents will somewhat strengthen as years go on. You’ll learn that you cannot chance people, but you can change how you react or interact to situations. This tactic will help you tremendously. Accept how people or situations are.

9.) You’ll make many irrational decisions- Such as moving across the country, but you’ll learn from it and gain a few memories along the way. You’ll also be welcomed back in with opened arms by your uncle and aunt. This will be a trying time in your life- the relationship you were so certain (yet so un certain many times) about for eight years, will be questioned deeply…and you will realize that you must come to a decision.

I loved the view from our apartment in Arizona! Can’t wait to move closer to the city late next year.

 

10.) You will not marry who think you will- I swear on everything. A new love will come out of complete darkness (see above). You will struggle with holding onto everything you’ve ever known, comfort, and stability. However, what was missing (financial responsibility, persuasion of personal growth, and loyalty) will be found. You WILL love greater and deeper…and never have to worry about if a bill was paid EVER again ;)

May 2013. Right after coming home from 6 weeks apart!

 

What are some things you would tell your younger self if you could?

 

Did you ever make irrational, butthead decisions?

 

Time is Not on Our Side

Time is a funny thing. Some days seem to drag ass while others don’t have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything on our “To Do” lists. I think I jinxed myself when I got the word “Time” tattooed on my wrist 8 years ago while on Spring Break…classy, eh? ;) My ex and I (we were together 6 years at this point) had broken up for a few months, and I was in the midst of my floundering years; thus, Green Day’s Good Riddance’s song lyric, “Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go” was influential for me, haha.  Anyways, I’m flipping the bird with both hands at you right now, Time. I’ll explain why…

If you’ve been reading my blog you know that I’m the wife to an army officer and that our first pregnancy resulted in a missed miscarriage at 3.5 months. We’ve been struggling to conceive again since. With my abnormal cycles combined with Tyler’s NIE’s (field training exercises) twice a year, our time is more limited than other couples, but we’ve been excited to finally see things rolling along. We expected him to be gone from September-October/November which was a little aggravating knowing things would have to be put on hold again if we didn’t conceive before then.

What we didn’t expect was for him to get orders for a 9 month deployment. Evidently, time is not on our side.

I wish I could rewind back to the evening he told me and re-do the whole scenario. Long story short- I was absolutely terrified, sad, and while this might sound odd or mean, really effing pissed off (not at him- at the situation). My initial thought was his safety. I don’t live up his butt or anything, but this man is my absolute life. I’ve been crazy in love, head over heels for him basically since the night he walked into my life.

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Bumper cars at the fair- first summer together! Loving my sexy outfit and hair :)

 

My thought process:

WTFFFFFF.

I’m scared for him.

How in the WORLD can we try to have a baby if he’s deployed?

I’m scared for him.

I’m going to be living in this armpit for 9 months with minimal friends and no family.

I questioned God last year and people’s attempt at comforting words such as “I’ll pray for you” and “It’s all in God’s time” is complete bullshit. If you’re there, why keep steering us off road? Why, dude? WHY???

I’m scared for him.

I don’t know much and I’m a roller coaster full of emotions right now, but I know a few things for sure.

I’m going to be as positive as possible.

I’ll have my moments of weakness and probably pitch a few fits (let’s be real, people), but I will exemplify strength and independence for Tyler.

Blogging will probably become my outlet and help make time go by.

I’m grateful for our dogs for comfort, the few friends I have here for support, a home with a security system, and a job to help time pass, and family from both sides.

I love waiting for everything in life! Just kidding ;)

 

I’ve been getting better with enjoying life in the present moment, but it’ll be interesting to try and enjoy the little things when I’m crapping my pants everyday in worry. This is NOT a pity party- thousands of spouses do this…it’s just a new experience for me, ya know?

We’re both extremely bummed about the entire situation. Everything literally happened within a matter of fourteen days, and we were really hoping for some pregnancy news by the end of the year. It’s his job though, an he’s damn good at it. And yes, I knew what I was getting myself into before I said my vows, but it doesn’t  take away the fear and sadness.

Ironically, since he left, I have let the baby thing go. I still plan on seeing my OBGYN (I’m in the midst of switching) and trying to attain normal cycles. We are still going to monitor my hormone levels each cycle and hopefully throw some ultrasounds in there to look at things more in depth when it gets closer to his return. If there are still no answers as to why I’m not ovulating (or spontaneously ovulating as my current OBGYN said), I’ll be referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) before he gets home. Although here is only flipping ONE in El Paso and the wait limit is like 18 years, so we shall see.

Until then, here’s to a quick and safe deployment for my big bear. I love you, babe.

Has there ever been a period in your life when time was not on your side?

Thanks for reading my emotional vent today ;)

 

 

Book Review

While I’ve always been a reader, I tend to go through spurts with it. To be clear, I’ve never read highly intellectual books…I mostly enjoy non-fiction, primarily chick-lit novels, haha (the complete opposite of my husband- I’m sure he’s quite proud). Anyways, when I was really young, I was obsessed with the Berenstain Bears and collected their books…which I still have by the way ;)

Everyone in the world needs to read this book.

Fast-forward a few years to elementary school- I’d go absolute ape shit every time a new Goosebumps book came out. I kid you not, I had every single one of those them, which I unfortunately don’t have anymore. MOM???? I also loved these Full House books that were written from Stephanie’s point of view. Does anyone else remember those or was I the only weird kid that read them?

LOVED. Why in the Sam hell did you sell these, Mother?

I’m probably the worst dater ever…hopefully, I’ll never have to again- Tyler says I have no game, haha

During my middle school years, my grandma introduced me to Nicholas Sparks. Yes people, I have read every single one of his books, and I’m not ashamed at all. My grandma loved his novels and would buy the new releases the day they came out, finish it within a week, then give it to me to read. It kinda became our thing, so perhaps that’s why I’ve continued to purchase and read them years later. I must note that I’m a realist, and I know his stories are obnoxious and over-the-top, but I don’t care.

Our favorite book by Mr. Sparks

Over the past several months, more so after I graduated, I got back into reading. The following books are ones that I’ve read recently. Remember- this is merely MY opinion, so please don’t all butt hurt if you had a different view of it. Let me know if so!

1.      The One and Only by Emily Giffin- I’ve been a fan of Giffin’s well before she gained popularity and entered the Hollywood scene with “Something Borrowed” (hated the movie by the way- the book was WAY better). This was by far my least favorite book of hers. In fact, I’ll never read it again (anyone wanna buy it from me?). The main character, Shea, is too flipping obsessed with football, and the story line was just weird. I didn’t like any of the characters, and I kept picturing Red from That 70’s Show as the coach (I know the description is nothing like Red, but I couldn’t help it). I won’t give away anything, but I’d open a gigantic can of whoop ass if my friend tried pulling what Shea did…

Boo.

2.         Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn- I know so many people have read and reviewed this book, and my opinion is probably very similar to those that did. I really enjoyed the book, and it was a quick read as I didn’t want to put it down (Tyler will attest to this). While it was a little odd at times, I was drawn to both characters. However, the ending was not what I was expected or wanted. Too much for me.

3.       The Fault in Our Stars by John Green- This book was highly recommended by friends and acquaintances, but it really just didn’t do it for me. I honestly thought the two main characters talked like they were 50 year old literature professors with PhD’s, but maybe I’m just not all that intellectual ;) I felt compassion towards the main characters in the book and was moved by their situations and actions…but that was about it. I was actually so “eh” about this book that I’ve waited until it comes out on Redbox to view the film.

4.     What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty- While it took me a bit to get drawn it, I ended up wanting to know what was going to happen at the end. I feel as though it was a bit drawn out, but I give it a B. Try it if you want something new and are a bit bored- it is amusing!

 

So I’ll stop here for now. I’ve read a handful of others that I’ll touch base on soon.

 

Have you read any books lately? If so, any recommendations?

If you have read any of the titles above, do you agree or disagree?

Counting Successes Rather Than Days During a Deployment

**** I’d like to give a huge shout-out to Elizabeth from Elizabeth Loves for helping me customize my blog over the past week! Though I’m slowly learning, I’m clueless when it comes to the back-end of blog design, and she was extremely helpful, made the process easy, and was absolutely wonderful to work with. Elizabeth is also a fellow military wife who writes about all different arrays of life- so check out her blog!

Alright, obviously I’d rather have my husband right next to me, but that simply is not possible right now. Though this is TJ’s third deployment, it’s our first together, and it hit us out of nowhere. This post is not meant to judge, nor to say that that dealing with it one way is better than others. It’s simply portraying how I’m trying to juggle being apart from my husband and, better yet, getting him home safe and sound.

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Late 2011- Visiting TJ at Fort Benning while he was at OCS.

I’ve only been an army wife for a bit over two years, but I’ve come into contact with numerous spouses. After the basic “get to know ya” questions, they tend to ask whether or not you’re husband has deployed or not. Is this a status thing? For real…I’m asking all the military spouses out there. Did I not qualify to be in the “real army wife” category because I didn’t experience a deployment with my husband yet? Who knows…

I didn’t even know he existed back then, but Tyler did two, 12 month tours previously in Iraq. Long story short if you’re new- He was enlisted from 2001 to 2007 and left as a Staff Sergeant…went to college and got a dual degree in Marketing and Business, then went back in as an Officer.

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TJ in Iraq…

Anyways, as much as I want to lie in bed and watch Netflix or Hulu all day, I know I can’t (but some days I will). I HAVE to focus on the positives of this deployment…Tyler has tried to remind me of some.

  • Our marriage will be stronger than ever
  • Our true friendships will shine through
  • Our familial relations will grow closer together

In all honesty, I am not the most positive person in the world. Ask those closest to me, haha. It’s funny though because I get many comments applauding me for my optimism. I kind of have to force myself to think better thoughts, but you know what? It ends up changing my mindset after a while and relieves so much unneeded stress. Sulking and bitching won’t give me Tyler back. In fact, it would probably damage our relationship to an extent. I have to be strong for myself and him…but I promise you I have my moments (some last longer than others), yet their in the privacy of my home. I’ll write more about this as we get further into the deployment.

Anyways, I stupidly downloaded a countdown app last week and punched in the rough estimate of when he will returning home next week. I seriously about shat my pants when I saw the number that pop up and immediately said eff this. I have no clue why I even did that. Some women may find a countdown to be comforting, but mama just can’t handle seeing numbers in the high 200’s. So, instead of counting numbers, I’m going to count our successes.

The successes don’t really have to be things I achieved. They’ll merely be things that make me happy, get me through the day or week, or that I look forward to. It could be something as simple as relaxing and enjoying a book or trying something new. I plan on creating a “Deployment Bucket List” for things I’m going to do to help me not freak the fuck out stay strong for the both of us. I’ll share this with you all within a few weeks! Hopefully, this will help others gain more light towards deployments instead of focusing on the constant worry and other negative feelings that it causes.

Thought this was funny…

What do you think about counting successes instead of days during a deployment or pro-longed times away from your spouse?

Any suggestions of things to put on my bucket list??!!

The Love of My Life is Halfway Across the World

Soooo…We have some news to share. If you’re familiar with the army, you know what the multicam in the picture below means:

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Multi-cam ACU’s…yep.

My husband deployed a few weeks ago. Although I’m well aware that this is part of the deal while in the military, this deployment occurred very unexpectedly (Tyler was in a non-deployable unit and was individually tasked out to go), and the process of us finding out to him leaving happened within a matter of two weeks.

Typically, army personnel and their families know about theses things months in advance so there is more time to prepare and whatnot. That obviously wasn’t the case, but we are actually both grateful for this. Waiting around is no fun, which is a huge part of the military. Have you ever heard of the phrase “hurry up and wait”?. Starting the deployment asap meant that TJ would be coming home sooner. It’s hard to explain, but it’s kind of like ripping a Band-Aid off really fast instead of slowly and dreading the pain ;)

We were celebrating our second anniversary and rooting that things were perhaps aligned medically to try for a baby again without any prolonged interruptions due to his training….Then news broke loose that he was about to embark on a 9 month deployment. I thought TJ was joking at first…but he wasn’t. Tyler handled everything extremely well- even when they went back and forth about whether or not he was going. Like come on people- he’s not going on a flipping business trip to Cali. This is this third deployment (he did two 12 month tours in Iraq when he was enlisted), but our first together.

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Grasping our last days together- relaxing andwatching the series “Orange is the New Black”. We love it!

Within a matter of days,  we he got shit taken care of- POA, discussing financial obligations, and unfortunately the worst-case scenario details.

Do not tell me that I signed up for this. Yes, I knew this day would come. I’ll tell you though- I’m so incredibly proud of this man that I could burst.

All I ask if for you to keep my big sexy in your thoughts.

Thank you…Have a good one! :) XOXO.

Have you or someone you love every deployed? If so, for how long and where to?